Up For Tennis, Doc? Chapter I

By the Bronte-Cohen Sisters
Once upon a time, there was a far, far away place called Luz.

It was a very, very strange place and it was named not after the light that may have shined from it, but for exactly its opposite effect.

As you’ll see, it is a village that has an unique capability to provide us with all but enlightenment on whichever one wishes to be clarified about. It was also very, very strange as it had many more inhabitants than those that actually resided there, and many more nationalities than inhabitants.

And between nationalities, residents and inhabitants many saw many things that the whole world put together wouldn’t be capable to see.

Another oddity is that in that particular village, strangers are at home while those at home are considered strangers, so much so that the vast majority of those there speak a language foreign to the land where this village is situated on.

An example is the local church, where those who were supposed to use it for their prayers cannot, as there were other people who’ve come from far, far away places, and because they wanted it for other things than prayer, had thus priority.  

Luz, a village where there was no sense, located somewhere in a land where it was senseless to have sense.

One day, a rather large group from Wimbledon, or thereabouts, so great was their fixation for that sport called tennis, decided to holiday there.

As Luz had a beach, common nonsense dictated that the chillier the weather the better, so these Brits decided that the best time would be the end of April, beginning of May.

This was no ordinary holiday - an off- season, low budget holiday – as the group was made up of rich and/or well connected characters: medics, company directors of property management pharmaceuticals, software, corporate entertainment, security… either rich and/or well-connected. What was their purpose in commandeering of the resort of Luz; arriving like the retinue of a feudal ruler with servants in tow? Whatever it was, it had to be kept secret. Not a whisper of a common cause could reach the media, and although some have said freemasonry was a possible explanation by some, but sure, many of these characters when created may have been connected to the Brotherhood, but as this seems to be endemic amongst certain professions in the UK and of itself, is no explanation.

  Gomez Addams booked the holiday on behalf of Ken M in January 2007. Gomez and his wife, Morticia, later commented on Barbie M’s reluctance to join in the plans and premonition of something unspecified. It was also Gomez who released the “F- off, I’m not here to enjoy myself” camera pictures of Ken on the airport shuttle bus. Obviously uninhibited by the presence a small children, a miserable Ken utters his now notorious words.

 
Gomez would also comment in his interviews with PC Plod’s colleagues, that they expected something to happen, but not that. What indeed? In retrospect, was he trying to tell us something?

Let’s start with tennis; a strange choice for the golf-playing Ken, who never once mentions a trip to the golf course. He had been to less than 50 miles from Luz before; to play golf, in 1998. For that matter, so had Calamity Jane - not to play golf, as far as we know, but to then arrange a conference for the firm she then worked for; Fishing & Science Toys Inc.

Our first tennis player, present in this atypical holiday, Shrek the Ogre; who appears first in this story as the person who “introduces” Elmer Fudd to the Dalton Brothers (to which the Addams, Calamity and the Ms, Ken and Barbie, belonged to, together with another five characters).

This was over a “chance” encounter over a hedge, on the morning after Bambi’s disappearance.

We have to rely on Shrek’s account given to DC Comics on April 2008, because his original statement is not available in the PC Plod & Colleagues Storybook.

According to Shrek, and to his wife Fiona, both vaguely recalled having heard someone calling “Bambi, Bambi” on the night she disappeared. A highly significant piece of information, tantalising, but not available for reading as her statement is also missing from abovementioned Storybook.

Shrek’s statement has the group of approximately 10 people seated at approximately half past eight. The first anomaly with the Dalton Brothers timings arises here. Shrek and family had arrived at 7 and had spoken to a man with 3 children who was flying back to Switzerland the next day. They had never met before, according to Shrek.

He also mentions another couple, whose names he didn’t know. My belief is this was Fred and Wilma Flintstone; listed as reserved for dinner at the same time as the Dalton Brothers and like Judas Iscariot, all questioned about the presence of the Flintstone’s by PC Plod’s colleagues; denied all knowledge of them. Ms Flintstone, according to the flight list, was pregnant.

 
Shrek had been on a “Luz-type” holiday before, as he knew Daffy Duck. However, he does not say where. Presumably a good tennis player, as he was 13 years older than the highly competitive Ken.

Shrek’s address is referred to as being in Willow Tree, Heart of Swamp. In fact, it is 5 Down There, Willow Tree, which is now registered as the premises of a Clinic and Health Food Company.

However, there is another address for Shrek the Ogre in the PC Plod & Colleagues Storybook: Thine Barn, in Seven Acres. Worth £449k in 2002, and more like £700k now. This is significant, as it proves he is the same SO at the vexatious appellant against Seven Acres Council in 2008. He wrote threatening letters and seems a nasty piece of work. He was protesting about the garden centre next to his property developing some land.

Company Director search shows that Shrek the Ogre was CD of U’r Finance, Co dissolved.
Now CD of Power RPM (property management).

All in all, we’re able to understand that Shrek the Ogre is one powerful tennis player. And we’re not talking about his serve. As we know that in Luz, coincidences have surpassed largely realities, it’s needless to say that in this story, any reality with any coincidence is pure reality.