Thursday, 29 July 2010


By "Volunteer Contributor" Paula Ardenois
Holidays are stressful at the best of times. If you are in a in a pathological relationship you are sitting on a timebomb.

Here in the States, over the Christmas period we find that there are more deaths, murders and domestic violence than in any other time of the year.

Why? Because everyone ‘insists’ they must have a good time. We must add to the equation the “isn’t perfect” of your family.

If you expect perfection from them over the holidays you are heading for disaster. People, when on holiday spend more money, sometimes which they possibly do not have.

They certainly drink more and maybe act worse than they do at home because ‘they MUST have a good time’ Summer holidays, like Christmas, are also known for domestic violence to occur; in a dysfunctional family all its malfunctions will be enhance and will arise in significant amount.

If you go in a group you may feel pressured to spend time with people ‘to get through the holiday’. To fit in the group, to be part of the tribe… have a blast, be a team player!

Not enough sleep, hangover from all the nights before may make you snappy with your partner and, of course, with your children.

What is supposed to be a ‘Fun time’ has become an extremely stressful “Have to have fun time”. This leads to loneliness. Loneliness, was Kate McCann feeling alone?

On the bus trip we saw a woman sitting with her three children, her husband sitting on the other side with a surly look on his face.  

Gerry McCann knew the plan ‘We must have a good time on this holiday’ but by Gerry’s very own words on what would be the family video of their holiday said ‘FUCK OFF’.

It seems, even if only unconsciously, Gerry had decided he was not for the effort of making this would to be “the best holiday ever”. Here, we witness, in his demonstration of wanting to strip away any joy that anybody else around him could have hoped for the holiday, all the symptoms of a pathological personality.

Had the camera homed in on Kate’s face after Gerry spoke these words we would have seen the smile replaced by a grimace as all her hopes faded for the "Best holiday ever". We all have seen this sometime or another whenever we’re present with a bully.

Psychological bullies outnumber physical ones by a large majority as we know.
In Kate’s diary, she has claimed to have written about her husband how she had to struggle with three children while he was out playing tennis and having a good time.

A pathological relationship never sleeps, even during the holidays. One does make an effort for a holiday to be the one to be remembered, with no arguments, with no fights just happiness for once. Just to be there happiness. And this “happiness” may even be achieved; however, the effort of making it happen is of an indescribable violence.

The final day, the day Madeleine disappeared, Kate said that Madeleine spoke the words ‘Mummy, I have had the best day ever’. In retrospect this could not be true, for something dreadful happened to Madeleine on May 3rd. so, we ask, why did Kate say words that are highly unlikely for a three year old to say?  

Kate is a manipulator and the public, her target. The words, her words, not Madeleine’s, were directed to her audience only to explain about how perfect holiday was as a holiday is supposed to be and how nothing could have gone wrong while she was looking after her daughter.

Madeleine’s last day just had to be so melodramatically perfect. It is clear now the McCanns were in financial trouble, the moment cash was available they paid two monthly payments on their home.

In England, if one is three months behind with payments one WILL lose one’s home... a lot of stress on one family with three small children... on a holiday in a foreign land.

It they may well seem that they have been living beyond their means, even if they chose the cheapest week of the year in PDL, apparently a ‘Special Offer’. The small and shabby apartment with a community pool was maybe all they could afford at the time, was not exactly befitting for a cardiologist and a GP.

The holiday was a disaster before it had begun, ‘pathology’ and the idea of happiness. Happiness that did not exist but was “developed” around this particular relationship by the lies that would later be told.

Happiness, as the McCanns now surely know, is not found outside but from within, the nightmare they now live in contains more bars than any cell. To live a nightmare while awake is the worst nightmare of all.  

Gerry McCann often talks about the ‘KEY’. What ‘Key’ is he talking about? If he wants help in finding the key why is he searching in all the wrong places? If he wants help then he must return to the ‘LOCK’ where this key belongs.

The McCanns will never be able to return to the lock where lie all the answers to Gerry’s ‘key’ because they now have something they did not have before Madeleine disappeared: solidarity.

Solidarity, solidarity in an objectiveless search to find something that they are not even looking for, diligently obstructing whoever does, resort to "legal violence" if need be, because that something is not supposed to be found as it wasn’t ever lost physically: Madeleine.

Only in a depressing unhappy environment can a pathological sick mind think he’s found true happiness. Now look again at his genuine smile.


  1. Thank you, Paula!

    You mention what, for me, is most interesting about this whole thing: the rainbow of different personalities involved.

    You’re absolutely right about Gerry, but there are many other peculiar personalities involved.

    And not only of the Tapas 9.

    Not only of those on holiday at PDL at the time.

    Not only of those who worked at PDL at the time.

    Not only of those that lived at PDL at the time.

    Not only of those who living in the UK, were directly related to Maddie.

    Not only of those who living in the UK, not directly related to Maddie, but got involved.

    Also those, for some reason or another, online worldwide that got involved in this. That includes me, you, all the White Hats, and, those very, very interesting Black Hats. Of these, those that assume they are, and those, the majority, that pretend not to be, or pretend to be the opposite…

    Once again, thank you.

  2. Bienvenido Paula, and may we see much more of you. Your insight is fascinating ,an aspect I had never looked at before.

  3. The Narccissists is only interested in 'I' here you will see an examle in gerrys blog maybe one reason he removed them they show his personality. There is no one more important to gerry than himself.

    Here it tells of a story , a story with out proof it ever took place. Gerry is telling us with all his problems he took time out to help another person, I question this also as Gerry is a very selfish man and would not help anyone.

    Notice the, I I and I...Gerry is only interested in No.1.

    Day 47 - 19/06/2007 - Tuesday
    Passenger Collapsed

    Day 47

    Days 47 - 57



    Flew in to London to for a series of meetings. Helped a passenger on the flight who collapsed. He was ill enough to require a full assessment on arrival and went off to hospital in an ambulance.

    Unfortunately shortly after arriving in London I had my wallet stolen which meant I was running late. I did manage to get to all my meetings which ran late into the evening. We had very good discussions regarding sustaining the search for Madeleine long term. The role for Kate and I in the campaign will not be nearly be so

    There will of course be event driven media

    exposure such as the balloon launch on Friday 22nd. There are several other very good ideas being developed and a few large companies are willing to help us.


    Gerry expects everyone to help him but offers nothing in return another 'pathalogical trait',me and more me.

  4. Very well constructed and reasoned article. Thank you, Paula.

    Concur wholeheartedly with 'anon' above. Great Gerry the untouchable is indeed an incurable narcissist.

  5. Paula Ardenois29 Jul 2010, 11:15:00

    Thank-you I was a little nervous but it is a project I chose myself I found the case fascinating as this story has a long way to go. The Mccanns for me are a fascinating specimen and my professor was happy with my decision. I am only eighteen but hope to make a career in Pathalogical Disorders and maybe one day right a book about the Mccanns.

  6. Anon.@08.02am,

    Kate also told the world of how they helped a stranger, a man they found completely drunk, falling on the street in Luz, in one of their strowls in the early hours of the day (were they searching? I doubt it...what/where were they doing/going at that early time, streets empty, no one around?).
    The man was so drunk that they had to help him find his home, but it seems he was not too drunk to recognize them, as Kate and Gerry said he did! Such good samaritans!
    "We've all been there"...Kate said.
    Humm...really Kate? Have you been drunk to the point of not being able to find your way home?...

    About holidays and stress, oh yes! As I read through the text I could not help the feeling of familiarity with the situation. I too have felt that way many times when away from home on a break. I have often said to my husband, whenever he suggests going away, having a break: what's the point? will it be any different? No, the problems go along, they do not stay behind at home! They follow us, no matter where we are!
    The McCanns carried a heavy luggage with them to their holiday, and it was not clothes...

  7. TortallyConfused29 Jul 2010, 14:48:00

    First of all- welcome Paula. I found your piece very interesting. It reminded me of a particular part of my own history. I was married to a man for 12 years. Every single holiday we had was miserable and zero fun. (With or without the children) A living nightmare I just wanted to cancel. I would have preferred taking them to a local theme park for the day then abroad.
    In the end, I got out. My ex was described by the courts as a pathologically narcassistic melogomaniac. And for 12 years why did we have to have these holidays? Because we were upper middle class professionals- it was 'expected'. Everything was about the appearance- not the substance.

    My ex was also a master manipulator and struggled with his 'imperfect' the point that he even denied the child existed by the time he was 5 years old. (he has cystic fibrosis)I am happy I 'called time' because I could see the damage this man was doing to my children. Oh, and by the way, without consulting me, a judge ruled this man was to have no contact with these children until their 16th birthdays.

    Maybe Kate didn't have any balls.

    Just a thought

  8. Professor Perez Garcia29 Jul 2010, 17:20:00

    Paula is a very bright student, her choice has now become a group project. We are working from Jerry's blog and the choice of videos thanks to the desire of the Mccanns to be seen doing something when they were doing nothing, very rare when working from this angle.

    Psychopath/Narcissist in Society and how we may protect ourselves from them, quiet simply, we can't but we can have knowledge and if we are in such a relationship, how we may cope.

    Narcissists work weekends, they claim this is due to dedication, any other would be accused of neglect. Jerry did not like the idea of neglect, we see he has covered this issue in his blog by saying one of his relations would sit with Kate while he followed out his 'work dedication' he needs his public to know he was not a neglector.

    Physical complaints are another trait of the psycopath, we have read, again thanks to Jerrys blog how he hurt his ankle late afternoon May 3rd, and yet in the days to follow he was not seen to limp but go jogging and play tennis. The injury was a lie.

    His choice of work also giving us great insight, Jerry is the centre of the Universe, his Universe, he is blind to anyone elses needs, he sees himself as Godlike.

    It is a once in a liftime moment for us to be able to study a pyschopath so closely and for him to have supplied his narcissist traits for the world to see.

    It is late I wish you a very good evening and would like to thank this blog for letting us use it as an educational platform.

    Professor Perez Garcia.

  9. Dear Professor,

    Thank you for your comment. Never thought that Paula would bring such relevant "luggage" with her. I remember that in her age, I would just love to challenge the world, and would explore every avenue laid in front of me.

    My parents certainly DID NOT enjoy my audacity...

    You seem to have one great mind that is your hands to nurture into evan farther challenges. I really hope that you all feel at home here.

    Thank you


    A lot of interest in Germany, the Mccanns would be wise to have translators looks like they are going to need them.

    What with this and the interest in a University in the States things could be looking up.

    Lets hope so.

  11. Liars...Exposed

  12. I'm delighted at the fact that this brilliant blog is known to and attracting the participation of some outstandingly clever minds!
    Well done Textusa and Iron, and now also Paula Ardenois.
    Keep up the excellent work, keep rocking the boat!
    (just a bit worried about making it public that there are people working on McCann's psychological profiles, who knows what reactions it will bring from them...please, take strong legal advice, don't leave them any "angles" to cause you trouble, as they have done to so many alredy)
    May God bless and protect all who fight for justice for Madeleine!

  13. Hello Paula, I would say good morning but think you be be sleeping. Last night, I watched the bus video with fresh eyes, of course I was only stunned by McCanns F.Off remark but you have seen so much more.

    I had not realised until you pointed out this is footage which shows the state of the Mccanns marriage when Madeleine was still alive. I apologize, do not want to put words into your mouth as I do not know if you belive Madddie is still with us, you have not said.

    Mccann, as you say, surly Gerry sitting some distance from his wife and children..the children sitting with Kate...Madeleine,it is now possible, was not the 'Daddies' girl we have been led to believe as Maddie is not sitting on her fathers knee looking happy at her future holiday she is not even looking at her him.

    The hand holding now so clearly a farce, for they are not close enough to even touch each other.or look as if they want to..Kate strokes one of the twins heads and Maddie sits kicking her legs back and fro.

    Kate must have been struggling with the twins when Maddie ran off to climb the planes steps, she stumbles...why was her father not there to take her hand and help her onto the plane? Why did he not rush forward to see if she had hurt herself?

    Who ever released this video maybe now wanted us to see the real Mccanns but we were too blind to see the truth. I thank you Paula for posting and giving us new insight.


  14. Paula Ardenois30 Jul 2010, 09:42:00

    It is late and I am writing my thesis but thought you may be interested to know something about the cyber stalker.

    I do not mean the person who searches for children but the P/Ns
    (Pysychopath/Narcissist) they are very curious people and are interested to know what people write or say about them.

    Dr.McCann is a cyber stalker, he follows every blog and everything that is written about him (he has admitted this, bloggers bother him). The blogger who blogs about him in all innocence does not realise they are pounding away at Dr.McCanns life and the work he alone has built for his universe. They are the enemy.

    P/Ns like to have a target where they can pour out all their rage, this may be a wife a neighbour or someone from work. When the target has been chosen, the victim will find him or herself on the end of a smear campaign,abuse and endless legal battles.To the P/Ns his target (who in reality is his victim) has tarnished his reputation and at all costs he or she must pay.

  15. Paula, after having read what Iron wrote in Maria's blog ( about two known cyber stalkers against Amaral, I've decided to write myself something on the subject, your comment, has confirmed what is quite obvious: the Black Hats have elected (by the way, with total reason) as the sole responsible for their misery.

    They forget that their misery was brought upon them by themselves, and Amaral limited himself to execute the role he had at the time in the society he lives in. But that is obvious.

    What I read in your words, and correct me if I'm wrong, is that these people withdraw personal satisfaction in causing harm to their intended target. As if their victims ill-being gives them physical pleasure, as if the suffering of another, in their demented mind, compensates their own suffering. If they suffer, another must suffer equal or worse pain.

    What these people don't realize is that, like with shopaholics, shopping not only doesn't bring any relief to pain, it only aggravates the problem.

  16. Maddie = Freeport
    ( The criminals can't rest in peace, no matter how many times they come to our screens to claim innocence. No matter how many friends they got in high and powerful positions to protect their backs.... a crime isalways a crime and the time to close something without a propely investigation, is gone. One day, the truth will raise the sunshine and the perpetrators will be exposed}.

    No sights of Maddie, no new Hewletts. No summer stories about the 'proud parents and their poor twins'. They are scared about what is coming next and will be A NEXT, until they confess and tell the truth.

  17. I just want to add what that amazing couple confessed to the world, on their last passage to Lisbon.
    Outside Lisbon Court, they announced to the world that after almost 3 years they don't know what information is inside PJ files, they don't know which shocked information/pictures their lawyer I.D. found in Portimao police office. They don't check the pictures or the information.
    I have no words to describe this surrealist parents. Everyday they show another face of their bad skills, as parents, and to my mind come the nightmare lived by 3 childs until one disapeared. What hapenned in PDL was only the mirror of what could be the life of the little Mccann's.
    I'm sure if any other parents of a missing child, had the oportunity to acess and check the information retained on the police investigation, will devorate all the information in few hours.
    Mccann's had another agenda- fooling people, silencing troubles, raising fraudulent money, making a collection of lawyers in several countries.
    I hope Paula and her group will be not the next target for Mccann's lawyers. To prevent new investigations on their steps, they launch the new students campaign... not to help or look after Madeleine, but to grab private and personal information about many curious students and later frame them.
    Well done Textusa, Paula, Iron, Joana and Astro. Madeleine need people with courage and inteligence who don't give up on her rights.

  18. It is hard being the victim of a narcissist, there are many things the chosen victim needs to know.

    1) It is not your fault, you are not to blame.

    2) You just happened to be there.

    3) You are a vunerable prey.

    4) A Narcicissist is a thief.

    5) They are bullies.

    Once you understand these basic facts you can then begin to STOP being the victim.

    The narcissist is a predator,period. Predators attack any vulnerable prey,period. To a narcicissist you are a drug and from harming you he or she gets a high.

    I have mentioned the narcissist is a thief and steals something of great value from their victim, their job,their reputation even their spouse.

    The victim has to stop being the victim, but how? by fighting back, by shouting 'STOP THIEF'

    Then and only then will the victim win JUSTICE and get back what is his own.

  19. Because of the Godlike image created by the psycopath, you would never expect to find them involved in a charity.

    On the surface, the Madeleine Fund was thought to be a charity for not only Madeleine but other lost children.The Madeleine Fund is a business it is a Limited Company and this was the intention from the day it was started.

    The Mccanns ,like to place their name with 'charity' but for their own selfish ends. Who can forget the 1000 day event for 'Charity' not a charity event at all 50% went straight to the Mccanns own company.

    Macmillan Cancer Research, also used by Jerry Mccann the media claimed he would be cycling to raise money for the 'search for Madeleine.' has he been searching?

    The McCanns like to fool the gullible British Public and succeed by appearing noble and helping the needy, they like to receive gratification and praise and to the outside world they are utterly selfless.

    Many are beginning now to understand the Mccanns and the picture that is emerging is far from a selfless innocent couple.

  20. Paula, your article and comments are extremely interesting and insightful - it is hard to believe you are only 18. I would like to ask you whether you or your fellow students or teachers have any theories as to why the McCanns have been so strongly supported from so many apparently unlikely sources - the British Government (so much so that one MP, John Redwood, removed a slightly negative comment from his blog almost as soon as he had put it up, suggesting there has been continuous monitoring of blogs etc from the start), Leicestershire Police, police organisations such as CEOP, almost all journalists in the popular press? This is really what I can't get my mind around, and I would welcome your thoughts if this is an area you have considered, although I realise that your principal area of study is the psychology of the protagonists. However, the psychology of these other people I have listed must also be not entirely normal if they have no desire to find out what happened to this poor child and bring her killers to justice, and would therefore probably merit some consideration.

  21. Paula Ardenois1 Aug 2010, 07:49:00

    Hello you posted at 2.02 July 31 and I would like to reply. Here it is 11.30 pm I believe we are eight hours ahead. Campus is now closed and tomorrow I leave on vacation with my parents.

    I hope for a future in the field I have chosen and cannot make my own opinion known on any cases I study. If a time comes when I am able to write a book on the Mccanns and this I wish to do, I will then be entitled to give an opinion.

    I can say we have watched hours and hours of the Mccanns and have cut and spliced many videos and put together one film. This film is for our use in our study. The film is of interest for those who study the mind and of course will be shared and is part of our project, it started out with six pupils but our Professor has decided it should become a class project.

    The footage I can tell you reveals something remarkable about the Mccanns, you do not notice it when watching their videos but when you take each section and place them all together it becomes obvious. Not only do the Mccanns have solidarity, they also have what we can only describe as a code of communication, they relay messages to each other through body language. I hope one day this becomes available to the public because I really cannot explain it, my Professor tells me in years to come I will understand , but for the moment I am listening and learning.

    Happy holidays.

  22. Children predisposed to psychopathy who do not show obvious signs later in life probably become successful at avoiding detection because of such factors as increased intelligence and abilities to better plan and control their behavior.

  23. Paula

    You have a rare gift. You have managed to combine the unbridled curiosity of youth with the sort of patience and wisdom which usually only comes to most of us much later in life.

    I wish you strength with this fascinating project and hope realise your ambition of bringing it to fruition. I will certainly buy any book you may write on this subject.

    Enjoy your holidays.

  24. Paula,

    Another compliment...from someone who has not seen 18 candles on my birthday cake for decades, yet I see in you a bit of my 18 year old self.

    Do not be swayed from your research - there are undoubtedly professionals using propaganda techniques to stop people like you and your classmates from speaking out.

    Although I agree entirely with your conclusions regarding the psychological aspects of this case, that truth alone will not explain why the British government itself is involved in the cover-up.

    I'm encouraged by what I've seen you share so far. Keep digging, Paula, and well done for the insights you've shared.


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