Holiday

By "Volunteer Contributor" Paula Ardenois
 
Holidays are stressful at the best of times. If you are in a in a pathological relationship you are sitting on a timebomb.

Here in the States, over the Christmas period we find that there are more deaths, murders and domestic violence than in any other time of the year.

Why? Because everyone ‘insists’ they must have a good time. We must add to the equation the “isn’t perfect” of your family.

If you expect perfection from them over the holidays you are heading for disaster. People, when on holiday spend more money, sometimes which they possibly do not have.

They certainly drink more and maybe act worse than they do at home because ‘they MUST have a good time’ Summer holidays, like Christmas, are also known for domestic violence to occur; in a dysfunctional family all its malfunctions will be enhance and will arise in significant amount.

If you go in a group you may feel pressured to spend time with people ‘to get through the holiday’. To fit in the group, to be part of the tribe… have a blast, be a team player!

Not enough sleep, hangover from all the nights before may make you snappy with your partner and, of course, with your children.

What is supposed to be a ‘Fun time’ has become an extremely stressful “Have to have fun time”. This leads to loneliness. Loneliness, was Kate McCann feeling alone?

On the bus trip we saw a woman sitting with her three children, her husband sitting on the other side with a surly look on his face.  

Gerry McCann knew the plan ‘We must have a good time on this holiday’ but by Gerry’s very own words on what would be the family video of their holiday said ‘FUCK OFF’.

It seems, even if only unconsciously, Gerry had decided he was not for the effort of making this would to be “the best holiday ever”. Here, we witness, in his demonstration of wanting to strip away any joy that anybody else around him could have hoped for the holiday, all the symptoms of a pathological personality.

Had the camera homed in on Kate’s face after Gerry spoke these words we would have seen the smile replaced by a grimace as all her hopes faded for the "Best holiday ever". We all have seen this sometime or another whenever we’re present with a bully.

Psychological bullies outnumber physical ones by a large majority as we know.

In Kate’s diary, she has claimed to have written about her husband how she had to struggle with three children while he was out playing tennis and having a good time.

A pathological relationship never sleeps, even during the holidays. One does make an effort for a holiday to be the one to be remembered, with no arguments, with no fights just happiness for once. Just to be there happiness. And this “happiness” may even be achieved; however, the effort of making it happen is of an indescribable violence.

The final day, the day Madeleine disappeared, Kate said that Madeleine spoke the words ‘Mummy, I have had the best day ever’. In retrospect this could not be true, for something dreadful happened to Madeleine on May 3rd. so, we ask, why did Kate say words that are highly unlikely for a three year old to say?  

Kate is a manipulator and the public, her target. The words, her words, not Madeleine’s, were directed to her audience only to explain about how perfect holiday was as a holiday is supposed to be and how nothing could have gone wrong while she was looking after her daughter.

Madeleine’s last day just had to be so melodramatically perfect. It is clear now the McCanns were in financial trouble, the moment cash was available they paid two monthly payments on their home.

In England, if one is three months behind with payments one WILL lose one’s home... a lot of stress on one family with three small children... on a holiday in a foreign land.

It they may well seem that they have been living beyond their means, even if they chose the cheapest week of the year in PDL, apparently a ‘Special Offer’. The small and shabby apartment with a community pool was maybe all they could afford at the time, was not exactly befitting for a cardiologist and a GP.

The holiday was a disaster before it had begun, ‘pathology’ and the idea of happiness. Happiness that did not exist but was “developed” around this particular relationship by the lies that would later be told.

Happiness, as the McCanns now surely know, is not found outside but from within, the nightmare they now live in contains more bars than any cell. To live a nightmare while awake is the worst nightmare of all.  

Gerry McCann often talks about the ‘KEY’. What ‘Key’ is he talking about? If he wants help in finding the key why is he searching in all the wrong places? If he wants help then he must return to the ‘LOCK’ where this key belongs.

The McCanns will never be able to return to the lock where lie all the answers to Gerry’s ‘key’ because they now have something they did not have before Madeleine disappeared: solidarity.

Solidarity, solidarity in an objectiveless search to find something that they are not even looking for, diligently obstructing whoever does, resort to "legal violence" if need be, because that something is not supposed to be found as it wasn’t ever lost physically: Madeleine.

Only in a depressing unhappy environment can a pathological sick mind think he’s found true happiness. Now look again at his genuine smile.