Textusa Meltdown

I was warned by friends that the Maggot Family had started to speak about me.

They had done somewhat of the kind before, of course, but never in such an open manner, they said.

I found this slightly strange, as all through the Smith Sighting posting, and they were many, and through the still unfinished Mrs Fenn one, this blog, taking a few insults here and there, was never mentioned.

As if completely inexistent. So there I went for a visit, down Rugrat Lane, to check it out, and effectively there it was under “Textusa meltdown”.

Going through it, it became quite clear to me that these people had many, many unanswered questions, and I realized, silly me, that this blog didn’t have a Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) section.

As no proper blog should go without one, I decided, today, to do such a section:  

Preciousramotswe  
Q: Where this does quite leaves the likes of Paulo Sargento, who mentioned your previous theories on live PT TV with approval? 

A: I hope in the exactly same place where he may be right now. By the way, he didn’t mention any theory of mine, he complimented the fact that I showed to be a fact the fact that if you wanted to leave PdL in a hurry by car, the direction in which “Tanner’s Abudctor” was seen heading to, is absurd. 

However, as I’ve stated, its absurdity is confined to the fact that the “abductor” WANTED to leave PdL.

Otherwise, it makes perfect sense what was seen by Tanner. Take note of the words “what was seen” and not what she says she sees, much less from where she says she sees it.  


Truth 
Q: What about those 24 photos Levy had of them all at the dinner table (don't tell me that they were all fake)?  

A: No, I won’t tell you they’re all fake, but I’ll tell you that I think they simply don’t exist. 

In times, I asked Mr. Levy to produce them, and he has yet to do so. 

Until he does that, I’m assuming them as inexistent. 

But you know who could prove me wrong? The McCanns, or any other Tapas by showing me photographs of those lively dinners at Tapas. 

I do recall seeing a camera on the McCann dinner table in the apartment, so I’m supposing that there MUST be some photograph that could EASILY prove how absurd I’m being.  


Cath  
Q: Don’t the restaurant table reservations lists confirm they were there, or do you think they’re all photoshopped?  

A: No, I don’t think they were photoshoped at all, and if I gave you that impression, I truly apologise. 

They just contain false information, that’s all. 

The writing on it is real; the information it reads, is not. 

You know, those reservation sheets provide quite a significant amount of further evidence that the dinner’s were inexistent, that you may now wish that they were indeed photoshoped. 

But, as I said, they’re real, so deliciously real. I intend to write a whole separate post just about them, that’s how relevant I think they are.  


Sidmouth  
Q: They don’t even serve tapas there, do they?  

A: The Ocean Club’s answer to one of our readers was “The Tapas restaurant can be used by Mark Warner guest too. They do serve salads, burgers, sandwiches, chips at lunch and then in the evening is pizzeria”, so, no, apparently they do not serve tapas. 

It’s not me saying it, it’s the Ocean Club, so if you don’t agree, go pick your bone with them. 

And note the words "Mark Warner guest too" is NOT used to imply that the Tapas Bar is directed to the "general public" and that MW guests may use it also, but that although the Millenium is the MAIN PdL's Ocean Club's restaurant, their guests may also use the Tapas Bar, thus the "too". 

This is very important, for future posting, not to be mistaken.  


Sidmouth 
 Q: And if they did serve tapas there do you really think they would seat them at a table that’s not big enough?  

A: No I certainly do think they would sit them in a sufficiently big one. 

Logically, as in any restaurant, all they had to do would be to join up square tables to the size required to accommodate the size of the group, a pretty simple task, done millions of times daily in restaurants worldwide. 

But by doing that one doesn’t end up with a big ROUND table, does one? 

Unlike her sighting, I do think Jane Tanner was having some sort of hallucination when she speaks up of joining up tables with the end result of a big ROUND table. 

However sympathetic I would want to be with the woman, and I don’t, it’s a physical impossibility.  


Alibongo  
Q: Can you fit 9 people around a round table?  

A: Yes, of course, it all depends on the size of the table and the space to put it.  


Alibongo 
Q: But can you fit 9 people around a round table, PLUS the mysterious elusive 10th tapas?  

A: I don’t think that any restaurant worldwide does cater for elusive people. If you find one, I bet they’re throwing out a lot of food away every evening. 

But as said before, you can fit ANY number of people around a round table, as long as it’s big enough and you there’s room enough to fit it. 

I’ve never seen more than twelve people around a round table, but that was at rather luxurious wedding, and each table did have an enormous centerpiece. You know, to occupy all that centre space that is “lost” because the table is so big that you cannot reach things that are put there unless you stand up. 

That’s just one of many problems in using a big ROUND table to accommodate a big group.  


Truthiness 
Q: I'm getting visions of Johnny Depp and the Mad Hatter's tea party. Are you on Special Brew?  

A: You’re the one with the visions, so you tell me what you’re on.  


Dcb2 
Q: Isn't there a sketch drawing in the files showing the seating positions?  

A: Yes, there is and is used in the post. I just superimposed the Tapas 9 faces so that would be easier to understand who was where. 

I thought you knew the PJ Files much better than that, Dcb2. 


Truthiness  
Q: What's the record for the number of people in a mini?  

A: Googled it and it said that it was 21. In Malaysia. 

However, I remember seeing back in 1981 or 1982, on Julio Isidro’s TV Show Passeio dos Alegres, 32 or 34 people get into one and honk the horn. But memory is not as it was.  


Truthiness  
Q: Do you think that the record for the number of people in a mini provides a reasonable comparison to check if it’s possible to fit 9 people around a round table, PLUS the mysterious elusive 10th tapas?

A: No, it doesn’t provide such thing. You see, the idea is to sit people AROUND the table, on the OUTSIDE, not on the INSIDE. 

If one wanted to check how many people one would be able to put on TOP of a table, then yes, it would provide a reasonable comparison.  


Alibongo 
Q: Maths never was my forte… what size was the mini?

A: I believe that all Mini coopers are basically all the same size.  


Alibongo  
Q: I love the smell of total bullshit in the evening. Do you think it gladdens my black old heart?  

A: That is so personal that I don’t dare provide an opinion. 

I’ve said more than once, I don’t judge from where or what people get their kicks from. As long as they don’t involve other people not able to have reasonable judgment. 

And if your thing is to smell “bullsh*y in the evening” then you’re effectively participating regularly in the right forum. 

Probably, I bet, is the reason for you to keep coming back there.  


Alibongo 
Q: You’re fond of blathering about 'black hats' and 'white hats' but the real question is....... who supplied the straight jacket?  

A: Is that the straight jacket provided with the BIG ROUND table by the Tapas staff? You know, the inexistent one. 

All other straight-jackets that I know of are non-fictional and meant to treat serious diseases that deserve our respect.  


Alibongo  
Q: Who printed the now obviously faked receipt detailing the wine consumption and meal orders?

A: I’ve already answered a similar question. And they're not fake receipts, they're fake reservation sheets. 

You know what else is fake? 

The checking timelines drawn up on ripped pages of a Maddie’s book. 

Different subjects, same intent in the doing.  


Alibongo  
Q: How much the waiter who did the interview on Sky was paid to say the invisible tapas 9 were not rolling drunk?  

A: I imagine much less than Clarence Mitchell gets to say whatever he has to say whenever he opens his mouth on McCann's behalf. 

Probably this fellow didn’t receive a cent, because only those that can’t be threatened for free are paid.

Anyhow, if you paid him, you did wrong. 

If he did say that the Tapas weren’t rolling drunk he was just being truthful, so why pay? 

One simply cannot see any Tapas drunk when there are no Tapas to be seen anywhere near Tapas. 

When he eventually did see the Tapas at Tapas, on May 3rd, they certainly weren’t drunk. 

So, yes, it’s likely that he was not lying, however, having come from Sky, I reserve some skepticism.  


Truthiness  
Q: 21 People in a mini is the World record. Is it hard to break?  

A: Don’t know, don’t intend to try. But as I said, I think the figure is much higher.  


Truthiness  
Q: Do you think if those people injuring themselves by stuffing themselves into a mini had realised the challenge of fitting nine people around a table WITH tapas and wine on the table, could have avoided the black eyes and groin strains?  

A: The insistence of you people in comparing oranges with apples is somewhat tiresome. 

I usually don’t watch people do silly things just for the sake of calling attention upon themselves, but I relate “black eyes and groin strains” with kick-boxing and not “mini-stuffing”. 

By the way, groin strains are normally the result of over-extension of the limbs, and not due to compression of the same in tight spaces. 

You people do have some fixation for genitalia, and then call others perverse, much like you love to use hateful, violent wording and then call others haters.  


Preciousramotswe  
Q: Do you think Ironside's glad she retired, as how on earth could anyone back this crapola up? 

A: The reasons Ironside retired merit all of our utmost RESPECT. 


Preciousramotswe  
Q: Just noticed the strapline on your blog: Those that defend the indefensable can only use reason beyond reason itself. Is that bloody apt or what? 

A: Yes it is, isn’t it? I’m kind of proud how I was able to define you people so succinctly, I’m so glad you agree.  


Wednesday  
Q: Do you think it was the PJ who did all that forging?  

A: No, I don’t. 

Up to now, I can only see the Tapas 9 with the timelines on the Kid’s book’s pages, and someone from Tapas Bar/Ocean Club with the reservation sheets.  


Wednesday  
Q: Do you think the PJ forged the Creche Records as well?

A: As I said, I don’t think the PJ forged anything. 

And I’ll keep answering the same way no matter how many times you ask. 

The repetition technique to tire people out of a subject doesn’t work in this blog. 

About those records, I’ve heard that there’s something fishy about them, but haven’t looked properly at them yet. 

And I might not even do so because, in my opinion, they offer little or no added value, other than to confirm that some of the Ocean Club staff intentionally obstructed justice, either by own initiative or ordered, when lying about whatever involved the Tapas 9 stay at PdL.


Jayelles  
Q: Our local TexMex restaurant has an assortment of table shapes and sizes and they have couple of simple solutions for making tables larger. I've seen them pushing rectangular tables together to seat larger parties, but they also have a rather impressive round table top which gets rolled out like a big wheel from the kitchen and placed on top of a smaller table. It takes them a couple of minutes to set up and the larger table probably seats a dozen. When the party leaves, they have stripped again in no time and the table top is rolled back into its hidey place for the next time. Can I laugh at the pickle you’re getting yourself into over the Tapas Bar table sizes?  

A: Do laugh freely, please, I’m not one to judge anybody elses’s sense of humour. 

I very much doubt that that “rather impressive round table top” even exists (to seat a dozen it must really be IMPRESSIVE), but I’ll pamper your imagination and pretend it does, so you can go and tell your local TexMex Manager that I think he’s an idiot, but please do that, ONLY if that table top is real. 

Amongst other things, which I’ll deal with in a separate post, a table top like the one you describe, presents one major problem and that is lack of stability. 

This lack of stability results in two major effects, both of which are rather cumbersome for anyone trying to have a meal on it: sliding and leverage. 

To avoid sliding, is easily overcome, as one just has to screw small planks to one of its sides so that it fits nice and neat on the table top that it’s being put upon. The drawback is that it becomes designated to that specific table, but if the restaurant in question has only one type of table, which is normal, then it stops being a problem, as any table will do. 

The leverage is a little different. And to realize how problematic it is, just remember how irritating it is to have a meal on a table that has one leg shorter than the others. 

Here, you have no legs whatsoever, so if someone, for some reason decides to support themselves on the table top, it’s easy to imagine what will happen to everything that is on it. 

By the way, loved your “rather impressive” phrase, for it implies that it makes an impression, and if an impression is made, it is natural to be remembered and referred about afterwards. 

Sometimes people remember impressive things like baby devices, but overlook eventually having rolled a table top, impressive or not, to set up a specific table to a specific group of people who just had one of their kids abducted. 

But, as I said, by all means, do laugh.  


Jayelles  
Q: Not saying the Tapas Bar does roll a rather impressive round table top from the kitchen this, as unlike the antis, I do not transform speculation into facts, do I?  

A: You people turning fiction into fact?!? Who on earth would say that?!? That would be absolutely false. You haven’t turned a single fiction into fact, although you've tried it so hard. 

Fortunately, both your enormous efforts of making fiction into fact, and fact into fiction have failed.  

Facts are what facts are, and they sure make you feel uncomfortable. 

Sorry for that, but that’s not my fault or doing. 

And talking about facts, maybe you could clarify one of the few things that I still haven’t understood in all this. Not that it’s important, but could you please just tell me what is FACT for you people in terms of how the Maddie’s room’s window was found by Kate? 

I’m not saying it was this or that way, 

I’m just curious on how you want us to believe it was, nothing else. 

With all the “jemmiying” and “wooshing” I got lost somewhere, so at this point I don’t exactly know what “version” of the thing you people do defend. 

Seriously.  


Jayelles  
Q: Don’t you think there are enough witnesses to the McCanns eating arrangements on the night Madeleine went missing, to substantiate their statements?  

A: You know, although a ROUND table does have many inconveniences, they say it has one great advantage, and that is that one can ALWAYS fit one more person around it. 

You know I disagree with this, but this is what they say. 

 Now, if you apply this to finding witnesses, that one can ALWAYS fit one more, then it’s absolutely true.

You know this better than me.  

Mrs Fenn only joined the "witness club" after 109 days, and I bet if the case wasn’t archived, that woman who presented us with a foggy picture of the abductor, would also have joined the party too. 

But if you’re to add extra witnesses, please do choose Philomena McCann, as the Tapas dinners are about the only thing she hasn’t given an opinion on, 

Or has she? Don’t pay much attention to what she says, so she could have.  


Jayelles  
Q: You would believe ANYthing and ANYone rather than the McCanns (whom you claim to hate), wouldn’t you?  

A: Hatred is a basic emotion. I respect my ancestors too let my life be fuelled on such basic emotion. 

As I said, I know you hate me, and as I said I would hate me if I were you, but I have no reason to hate you, or the McCanns. 

But I have, as a citizen, the right to RESPECT. 

That was overlooked when all the unnecessary “clutter” was shoved down our collective throats. 

And I also know that you feel hatred not only for me, but also for the McCanns, as they forgot that they shouldn’t have been such media-exhibitionists, but everything in life is a bargain, they paid their price for centering all the attention upon them, you, the price of letting them off the hook for something that you had initially NO involvement in or guilt about, but allowed yourselves to become involved in. 

Your hatred for the couple was quite evidently shown in the incomprehensible absence of any of the remainder Tapas at the infamous 1000 day cerimony. 

After such a supposed ordeal, one would expect the bonding to become stronger by the day, but instead what we've witnessed is the apparent separation of these individuals. 

Lastly, no, it’s not only the McCanns I don’t believe in. 

I also don't beleive in many others, some more obvious than others, like, for example, some pretense White Hats that are still around.  


Jayelles 
Q: The place/state you goons inhabit is a happy one?  

A: Disregarding the unnecessary insult, have no complaints, but thank you for asking. 


Preciousramotswe  
Q: Daft thing is, it's not just the Mcanns and their friends that are branded as liars, but the entire staff too, isn’t it?  

A: No, not the entire staff. Only those that lied. They know who they are, and are easily recognizable, just go back and read the statements.  


Preciousramotswe 
Q: The other OC guests at the dinner have also supposedly lied in their statements?  

A: Well, if they said they saw the Tapas eating at Tapas in any other date other than May 3rd, than yes, they’re lying. 

And that changes all we had perceived until now, doesn’t it? 

I repeat, once again, it’s very, very easy to prove me wrong. 

Before, I said that all was needed to prove me wrong was ONE picture from the McCanns showing them eating at Tapas. 

Now I extend that to the remainder of the guests. 

Just ONE picture. 

Certainly in all those evenings somebody must have taken ONE picture where we can see the famous big ROUND table. 

Maybe, if we’re lucky, somebody took one and caught Najoua too on Quiz Night.  


Preciousramotswe  
Q: The whole thing is ridiculous. I did read it twice to make sure I hadn't overlooked a hint of irony or sarcasm, that the whole idea was a joke. But no, it's serious, isn’t it?  

A: Yes, it is.  


Dcb2  
Q: And Amaral and the GNR and PJ?  

A: Dcb2, the only one to understand me from the start. If I had to draw a cartoon character out of you, I wouldn’t forget the glasses or the receding hairline, but I won’t, I’m terrible in doing cartoons, I prefer real, tangible stuff. 

If you’re implying that I say that Amaral, the GNR and the PJ have lied, the answer is no, no and no. 

Yes, the lies are in the PJ files and the files are written up by the PJ. 

But they just wrote down what people told them. 

And there’s no guilt, as far as I know, to write down lies, especially if you're the Police, as those lies will later become evidence.  

Amaral, in his book, doesn’t say the Tapas had dinner at Tapas, he says that the Tapas say they had dinner at Tapas, which is what is written in the PJ Files. 

But sometimes there’s one huge difference between what one says one has done, and what one has done in reality.  


Sidmouth  
Q: You are trying to figure out where the staff would have got a large round table from......It's there right at the back of the tapas...there’s three of them from memory. They are used for the childrens dinner from the creche so all the kids can sit on the same table or two tables if need be. There are also larger table up above under the pegolas to the side of the tapas where children can also be seated.... Don’t you think there are lots of different size tables that could be used anyway?  

A: Sidmouth, your question was the one that made me do this post, so I do thank thee. 

According to your memory, there were then 4 (FOUR) round tables big enough that could have been used to sit 9 people. 

Let’s start with the 3 (THREE) Creche tables. 

I thought that the Creche for toddlers was about 250 yards further East, at the Rua Direita, and that at Tapas was the Babies Creche. So, according to you, they expected to have 27 (3 x 9) babies dine there?

Or, toddlers if we suppose that they walked the 250 yards back and forth from the other Creche for dinner?

Aren’t the parents supposed to pick them up before that? 

What kind of holiday was the Ocean Club catering?!? 

I suppose that on the initial lecture, you know, the one supposedly about tennis that lasted two hours, at a certain point someone would say "no cellphones, laptops, children or watches allowed, please place all of any of these items that you may have with you in the designated lockers, and make sure you memorize the number so that you can pick them up when you leave, thank you."  

Oh, when you say dinner, you mean lunch… ok, let’s forgive THAT slip of the tongue, and suppose it was for the kid’s lunch. 

Why didn’t anyone speak about this arrangement before, as, it seems to me, almost as important a trip, and this one was DAILY, to the one to the beach. 

Couldn't the abductor have been observing, EVERY DAY, this trip? 

Am I missing something here, or is your memory failing you? 

Then there’s the “Pergolas Table”, that famous table that nobody has ever mentioned before, and THAT must have been the one. 

How I wish that someone had had the bright idea of taking a picture of such a table, OUT from under the pergolas that is, but, it seems nobody did. 

What a pity. 

However, the fact that your memory only recollects tables OUTSIDE the Tapas Bar, you're acknowledging that INSIDE, as far as you remember, there were none big enough to sit 9 people. 

But that is not about the tables the reason I picked your comment as the most important one. 

It was because of your memory. 

You see, when you say all you said from your memory, you’re acknowledging you were there, because we’re talking about that particular week, and that particular night. 

That only confirms what we already knew, and that is some of you people are either Tapas or OC guests at the time of the events, the others, people in some manner related to you, the remainder, a minority, just bigoted idiots.  


Wednesday 
Q: No, you can't be in a happy place. You are saturated with hatred and suspicion and mind boggling vileness. Jeezuz, I would rather get ripped off than live in that state, wouldn’t I?  

A: If I were living saturated with hatred and suspicion and mind boggling vileness, then yes, I would, like you, prefer to get ripped off, but as I don’t live saturated with hatred and suspicion and mind boggling vileness, I’m fine the way I am, thank you.  


Catkins  
Q: WHAT TAPAS BAR?  

A: The Ocean Club’s Tapas Bar, located in Rua Dr. Francisco Gentil Martins in Praia da Luz, a little village near Lagos, in the Algarve region of Portugal.  


Wednesday  
Q: I swear those photos of the TAPAS BAR are PHOTO SHOPPED. Just look at The Angle of Elevation. Isn’t it floating?  

A: So, when Gonçalo Amaral wrote the book he deliberately photoshoped the photos of the Tapas Bar because he knew I was going to use them years later to prove that there was no BIG ROUND table, thus no Tapas dinners? 

How about the buildings on the left? Do you think he used a model, or is that from Casablanca?  

Sidmouth, who seems to have a pretty good memory of the place at the time of the events said nothing about the furniture not being the same, so I’m assuming his silence as an agreement that that the chairs and tables that were at Tapas Bar that week and remainder of the summer 2007 season, which obviously includes the fateful evening of May 3rd, were the ones in the photos. 

About the floating “Angle of Elevation”, you should speak to Truthiness, he/she knows of some “Special Brews” that gives him/her visions. 

Together with your “floating”, you two will probably be the life of any party.  


Preciousramotswe 
Q: Has Havern's taken up your amazing revelations with gusto? If I had to bet on any of them, it would have been Havern's, they’re a Conspiracy Central aren’t they?  

A: As you know, I’m no longer a member of any forum. And if you don't, I'm telling you. 

No, it’s not a personal statement, I'm just too lazy to register and then memorize passwords. Too old for that. 

Yes, I know that you like to pass on the image that all those of us who care that justice is done about Maddie’s fate are “conspiracy loonies”, as well as haters and other common basic insults to fend off readers from this and other blogs that are fighting for justice. 

But, amongst many other things that you didn’t count on that summer of ’07, one of them was the tenacity that both British and Portuguese citizens would demonstrate having. 

Bluj1515 
Q: Allow me to blow your freaking provincial European minds. Here in the land of milk and honey, the Council on Foreign Relations, Bilderburg Group and Trilateral Commission have invented a system so dastardly, so evil, so needing in a worldwide conspiracy, and world-wide help... that I risk my life telling you it. .... when we're at a restaurant... and the table is very small. .... ...... .... ....... the wait staff... they clear the first plates... before second plate comes... and then the second plate... before the third plate comes. So on.. and so forth. Get it?  

A: No, I don’t.  


Sidmouth  
Q (?): bluj1515, WOW!!  

A: Yes, I do believe that bluj515’s sense of humour would appeal to people with your I.Q.. 

Just kidding, I know you’re an intelligent person, just pretending that you're not.

Post Scriptum: To those wondering if I was really asked these questions by these people, no, obviously I was not. I just turned statements into questions, and maintained their content as can be seen here.