Dear Kate McCann,
I apologise for writing to you twice with such a short interval, but I'm finding myself in dire need of your help.
As I promised I’ve started to read your book.
And it has shown to be one of the most aching, agonizing, excruciating, harrowing, torturing, wrenching and traumatic experiences of my life.
What a naive fool I was in thinking that it would be a quick read!!! It’s been a arduous, gruelling, laborious, punishing and toilsome nauseating task… and I’m only on page 42.
So why do I need your help? It’s all got to do with our Brit friend.
You know the one that was practically forced by me to buy your book so that I could have one. Talk about masochism. On my part, that is, for our friend has proven, as always, to be the selfless and altruistic soul that we know her to be.
Since it’s been four days that I have the book, the friend has asked me one question, and to answer it, I do need your help: “HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT THERE’S NOT A SINGLE WORD ABOUT MADDIE’S COLOBOMA IN THE ENTIRE BOOK?”
Honestly, my jaw dropped.
Please do help me out, and please DO tell me that you DIDN’T forget to mention about what your hubby has defined as a “good marketing ploy”, that mark, or better said, trademark, by which Maddie has become known worldwide?
A face recognized anywhere, so much so that that particular mark is perfectly visible in photo you chose for the cover of your book.
Because after reading all the details about your pregnancies (I shudder just to think that your “lovemaking chapter” may go into similar detail, I really do hope not!) it’s impossible that you would forget to speak about the MAIN physical characteristic by which someone would NOW be able to recognize your daughter.
You had so much time to prepare the content, so it would be completely ludicrous for you to forget that, wouldn't it?
After all it is ALL about that that your book is about, isn’t it?
To help others find your daughter, right? The eight year old girl with a COLOBOMA in her right eye, supposedly abducted 4 years ago.
This is where you come in. As I’ve told you, I’m on page 42. At this rhythm, tomorrow, by this time, I’ll be on page 50, being the optimistic that I am. That means, only in June will I will be able to provide my friend an answer.
That would be very rude on my part, wouldn’t it?
So, in order to allow me to answer my friend in a timely manner, could you, dear Kate, please direct us to which page(s) of your book is your daughter’s COLOBOMA referred to?
Awfully grateful,
Your… Textusa
As I promised I’ve started to read your book.
And it has shown to be one of the most aching, agonizing, excruciating, harrowing, torturing, wrenching and traumatic experiences of my life.
What a naive fool I was in thinking that it would be a quick read!!! It’s been a arduous, gruelling, laborious, punishing and toilsome nauseating task… and I’m only on page 42.
So why do I need your help? It’s all got to do with our Brit friend.
You know the one that was practically forced by me to buy your book so that I could have one. Talk about masochism. On my part, that is, for our friend has proven, as always, to be the selfless and altruistic soul that we know her to be.
Since it’s been four days that I have the book, the friend has asked me one question, and to answer it, I do need your help: “HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT THERE’S NOT A SINGLE WORD ABOUT MADDIE’S COLOBOMA IN THE ENTIRE BOOK?”
Honestly, my jaw dropped.
Please do help me out, and please DO tell me that you DIDN’T forget to mention about what your hubby has defined as a “good marketing ploy”, that mark, or better said, trademark, by which Maddie has become known worldwide?
A face recognized anywhere, so much so that that particular mark is perfectly visible in photo you chose for the cover of your book.
Because after reading all the details about your pregnancies (I shudder just to think that your “lovemaking chapter” may go into similar detail, I really do hope not!) it’s impossible that you would forget to speak about the MAIN physical characteristic by which someone would NOW be able to recognize your daughter.
You had so much time to prepare the content, so it would be completely ludicrous for you to forget that, wouldn't it?
After all it is ALL about that that your book is about, isn’t it?
To help others find your daughter, right? The eight year old girl with a COLOBOMA in her right eye, supposedly abducted 4 years ago.
This is where you come in. As I’ve told you, I’m on page 42. At this rhythm, tomorrow, by this time, I’ll be on page 50, being the optimistic that I am. That means, only in June will I will be able to provide my friend an answer.
That would be very rude on my part, wouldn’t it?
So, in order to allow me to answer my friend in a timely manner, could you, dear Kate, please direct us to which page(s) of your book is your daughter’s COLOBOMA referred to?
Awfully grateful,
Your… Textusa
Update, May 24th:
Kate, Now I’m really getting annoyed. I’ve only been able to reach page 47 up to now.
I'm continuously getting interrupted by our Brit friend: Have you seen that she doesn’t speak about this? Noticed that she says nothing about that? I love her, honestly I do, but she’s starting to become bothersome...
These are some of the things she mentioned that you forgot to write about:
- No mention of either of the Quiz Nights.
- No mention of free wine.
- No mention of the round table, much less of the BIG ROUND TABLE
- No mention of having argued with Gerry over his lack of attention caused by a woman, that made you sleep in Maddie’s bedroom, something that your husband didn’t even notice.
- No mention of washing Maddie’s Cuddle Cat.
- No mention of the stolen wallet incident.
- No mention of you having a best mate now although you did have one at school.
- No mention of the family trip to the beach.
- No mention of the lunch with the Paynes.
- No mention of the tennis dinner.
- No mention of Gaspars
Is there anything else that you'd like to forewarn me that you've forgot besides Maddie's COLOBOMA?!?
That you did forget to even think when you wrote it, is pretty clear... so please don’t mention it.
You know, reading about a narcissistic, that one particularly dislikes, going on about shamelessly complementing himself (herself in this case) is a terribly hard task to undertake by just by itself, so I certainly don't need to have it further aggravated with all these interruptions.
The book has 383 pages.
Did you write about anything relevant?
Or are these topics reserved for Gerry’s yet unannounced upcoming book?
Does this book jog any memories by providing any new info?... Well apart from the stupid e-fits of random new suspects?
I tell you, if my friend interrupts me once again, I’m seriously thinking of suing you for misleading of public and false propaganda.
But I have to get through the thing first, don’t I? Give me a break, please!
And this was what our friend had to say up to now.
In her hurry she may have missed or overlooked something and I would be grateful to readers if they let us know what else has been missed, or if she, out of so many forgotten things, has mentioned something that you didn't forget after all…
We, in this blog, don't want to accuse of anything that you don't deserve to be accused of!